Third team shock!

It was a strange game from the get go. Despite all the recent weather, we played on a really firm pitch in generally good conditions (apart from a pot-hole, more on that later). Playing a home game away from home, a team of 24 travelled to Crow Lane with Jim Howell in tow… all making it a bit surreal.
For the 2nd week in succession we started slowly going down by 2 tries before we even got the A12 out of our legs. They had a very good pack, who had a potent mixture of experience and youth, so with Jim refereeing the laws from a couple of decades ago (when rolling away once you had tackled a man was not required) our lacklustre effort in that area began to show. In the first 60 minutes of the game, when we had the ball, we either turned it over at the breakdown or gave away a penalty and got booted back down the pitch. The rucks were turning into a stamp fest on both sides of the ball as the player who took the ball in got trapped between the defensive team and blocked off attacking team by the defenders body. Many of us were sporting stud marks but the worse has to go to Phillipson who had to leave for Whipps were he received 10 stiches because of a stamp on the top of his eye. Even the indestructible Private America was felled taking a hit that scrunched his neck and making a sound like a bag of crisps being crushed (although it later transpired it was a bag of crisps as John had one in his pocket for his customary half time snack). Jeff did a Luong running along and tackling himself with no one else around later claiming that there was a dip in the pitch.
Bizarrely Jim blew up for the first half, what seemed like 20mins early and we turned around down 12 to 5 however the game still felt very winnable. Then a flurry of substitutions to get everyone a game upset any rhythm we had and we leaked 3 tries, all converted and we were 33 to 5 down – all in all we conceded 5 tries I really can’t remember when our line had ever been so easily crossed. The worst of them being the last, when their number 8 picked up from a scrum and ran in from 20 metres out with not a single hand laid on him.
Suddenly, Felton, who had been insanely remonstrating from the sidelines, set his mad hell dog amongst the two teams. Initially biting a surprised looking Ugo on the arse (that’ll teach you to volunteer to run touch) it went on to rampage over the Romford third team pitch and amongst the terrified players… the Romford captain shouted, “everybody stay completely still”, nobody argued with that and for a moment it was Mad Dog 27 – Humans 0.
They say dogs are like their owners and Felton should have been put down along time ago!
Finally, the back line started to work and we attacked from everywhere scoring 3 tries and nearly picking up a couple more. In fact if we had had someone faster than Joliffe on the wing, like Jo the barmaid, we would have got at least one more, Tom got 2 tries, Hollis 1, and Coggins got 1 (yes Coggins the boring bastard). Romford were blowing hard at this point and those of us on the side line were starting to dream of a win when Jim blew for full time (apparently compensating for his initial poor timekeeping… normally I wouldn’t complain). Ultimately we lost this game up front. The rear guard action for the last 15 minutes was a joy to watch so let tear into Upminster from the off like that on Saturday and lets bounce back and get a win on the board ahead of the tour.
John Keen got Man of the match but apparently is on antibiotics for an ‘infection’ (claimed it was in his thigh…….) so next in line, to his absolute disgust was Hollis who then demonstrated very poor skills in speed drinking cider. Private America got the obligatory text votes but this week the Makowski moment went to Ralph who announced in the pre game huddle that we had a very mobile pack out. A grossly shocking and inaccurate statement. He then embarrassed himself by stopping 4 times during the pint to the derision of the Romford clubhouse.
A big thanks to Jim Howell for coming with us to Romford.